


Anonymous Admirer

by vanpora



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Radio Host AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-19 17:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14878244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanpora/pseuds/vanpora
Summary: Haseul hosts a radio show and has a popular segment where people can ask anonymous questions for advice. Lately, she gets a lot of romance questions surrounding her in particular.orJungeun is too scared to come off anon and Haseul is clueless when it comes to feelings.





	1. Dear Name,

**Author's Note:**

> yall i know viseul shippers are starving but imagine people who like lipseul? you guys are braver than us marines.

Despite the frenzy that was the college student life, Haseul was grateful for one consistency: her radio show.

Although it was a bi-weekly occurrence, Haseul looked forward to it with undying enthusiasm. It was a chance for her to contribute to the college's community, either through music or her show's main segment "Ask Haseul". It always enlightened her whenever she had gotten anonymous questions because it meant people actually  _listened_ and actually _wanted_ to ask her things. More than anything, Haseul just wanted to help people.

It was a slow night at the radio station, song requests coming in every now and then from the usual night owls who couldn't sleep. Haseul hummed along to the song currently playing, glancing at the clock, then breaking into a wide smile.

She waited for the song to finish before speaking into the mic, "I hope you enjoyed listening, that was 'Friday' by IU. A personal favorite of mine if I'm being honest," she leaned back in her seat and stretched. "Speaking of honesty, it's that time of night again! We'll be starting 'Ask Haseul' in a minute, so be sure to get your questions in. If you're a new listener or aren't familiar with the segment, it's simple. You can submit an anonymous question of any topic through the school's website, but you have to begin the question with 'Dear Haseul" or I won't answer," she  couldn't help the excitement bubbling up in her chest. "Song requests will be paused for the next hour so strap in."

Haseul swiveled her chair to the desk behind her and grabbed her laptop, pulling up the schools page. "Okay, let's see," she muttered under breath as her eyes scanned the stream of anonymous messages flooding in. She smiled as she managed to pick one. Leaning into the mic, she began to read aloud, "Dear Haseul, how do I deal with my annoying roommate? She's always eating all the food we have, mainly the bread, and keeps borrowing my earrings without asking. What do I do?"

She took in a deep breath before mulling over the response in her head. "Well," she said, "when dealing with roommates, communication is key. She'll never know what's bothering you if you don't speak up. If you do, maybe they'll change their habits. You always have to be clear and straightforward when confronting someone who keeps doing things that bother you. It's the basic rule to any relationship," she smiled. Satisfied with her answer, she looked back towards her laptop and scrolled through more questions.

Leaning back into the mic, she read the next question. "Dear Haseul, how do you deal with being criticized? People keep saying I'm too reserved or too intimidating to approach and it's irksome," Haseul frowned slightly at this.

"First, you have to tell yourself there's nothing wrong with the way you are. It's a bit hard to find people who'll accept you entirely but it does happen. I'm sure there's at least one person out there who relates to you and is wondering the same thing. Personally, I would ignore those comments and focus on myself because I know who I am and they don't. I hope that helps," she finishes.

The next 40 minutes go one with Haseul answering questions, some common ones and some that were a bit more personal. As she searched for another question, one caught her eye in particular. She almost laughed as she read it into the mic, "Dear Haseul, what's your ideal type in a partner?"

Haseul paused for a moment, unsure of how to reply. This was the first time she had been asked about herself on the show and though it wasn't exactly inappropriate it was still a surprise. "Well," she giggled, "this is a first." She scratched her head as she pondered her answer. "I guess I'm a little old fashioned," she said, "I prefer the chivalrous type. Someone who'd hold the door open for you, or someone like my dad I guess?" she ended it off with an unsure response. She glanced at the laptop and saw another question immediately pop up, one similar to the question she just answered.

"Dear Haseul, what is your ideal first date?" she smiled. "Ah, if you're trying to flirt then I'm onto you," she laughed. "My ideal first date would be… anything that simply involves my partner. It doesn't have to be something special as long as I'm with them, because in the end the time spent with them is all the matters." She glanced at the clock and let out an exhale. "Alright everyone, it's finally 1 AM which concludes this segment of 'Ask Haseul' on station 18.6," she adjusted her headset slightly before continuing, "If I didn't get the chance to answer your question, be sure to try again tomorrow, same station and same time. Thank you for tuning in!" she flicked a switch with a smile, ending the show.

Sagging into her seat, Haseul took a deep breath and realized how tired she was. Her curiosity tugged at her though. She reached for her laptop and scrolled through the questions she missed, noticing a majority of the recent ones revolving around romance and her in particular. Haseul felt a blush appear at the amount of interest this anon expressed. _Secret admirer?_ she mused to herself. Most likely, that wasn't the case and she was just dealing with a lovesick college student but it didn't completely stop her from entertaining the thought.

She closed her laptop and stood up to gather her things, dreading the walk back to the dorms. It was always eerily dark at night near the radio station, something Haseul was never able to adjust to. She mentioned it several times to her friends about how unnerving it was. Some of them offered to wait for her so she wouldn't be alone but she politely declined, knowing most of them had better things to do than stay up late just to accompany her. 

After making sure everything was in her book bag, she shut off the lights and made her way out. As she opened the door, she was immediately greeted by the cold autumn wind. She busied herself by adjusting the scarf around her neck, failing to notice the figure standing at the bottom of the steps in front of her. "Haseul," they spoke softly. Haseul jumped slightly, quickly adjusting her glasses to get a clearer view.

When she realized who the person was, she instantly perked up. "Jungeun?" she tilted her head with a smile. "What are you doing here?"

Jungeun fidgeted a bit, pulling down her black face mask before answering. "You've mentioned before you don't like the walk back to the dorms at night. I thought I could wait for you so you wouldn't be alone," she said. Haseul had to bite her lip to hold back her smile.

Jungeun could be so unexpectedly thoughtful, something Haseul noticed when they had first become friends. New people were quick to dismiss her as rude and standoff-ish but Haseul knew better. She saw right through her facade of indifference and it was the main reason they had become such fast friends.

Haseul made her way down the steps, "Did you wait long?"

"Ah, no," she scratched the back of her head, she seemed a bit nervous. "I was finishing homework and I remembered you would be wrapping up your show soon, so I thought I'd come. Here, let me carry that," she gestured to her book bag. Haseul handed it over with a small smile.

"How chivalrous of you," she snorted. Jungeun froze for a second, her eyes widening slightly. Haseul frowned, noticing her tense up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, of course," she cleared her throat. "Let's go," she said, holding her arm out. Haseul looked up at her curiously, before linking their arms together and beginning the walk back.

"Hey, Jungeun?" Haseul spoke after a minute.

"Mm?"

"What's your ideal type in a partner?"

"W-what? What do you mean?" Jungeun nearly tripped on the sidewalk as she processed the question. Haseul giggled as she steadied her.

"Relax, I'm just wondering because someone asked me that on the show. It was kind of nice, you know? To be asked about myself for once."

Jungeun let out a breathy laugh. "Getting tired of playing therapist, huh?"

Haseul rolled her eyes, swatting at her shoulder. "I am not playing therapist. It just got me thinking about romance and all that. I feel like I'm missing out, don't you?" she looked at Jungeun curiously.

"I guess," she said simply. Haseul felt her tense up around her arm and took it as a sign to drop the topic. _Odd_ , she thought. They arrived at the dorm entrance within a minute, Haseul letting out a sigh of relief as they made it to the top of the steps. Jungeun handed over her book bag, their fingers brushing slightly as Haseul grabbed it from her.

"Thank you for walking me back, Jungeun. It was really nice of you," she smiled. Jungeun simply nodded.

"It's nothing. Oh, let me get the door for you," she stepped forward suddenly, opening it for her. Haseul paused, glancing between the entrance and Jungeun and felt her cheeks begin to warm up.

"Goodnight, Jungeun," Haseul smiled as she stepped in.

"Goodnight," Jungeun nodded before jogging down the steps.

Haseul unwrapped her scarf and looked back at Jungeun. Something was definitely off about her, but Haseul was too tired to think too much on it. Mustering her last ounce of energy, she made her way to her room.


	2. Pick Me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Jungeun POV] Jinsoul plays wingman (and tired roommate) while Jungeun settles on her plan to woo Haseul.

Jungeun stared at her computer screen with a blank face, her brain short circuiting. As soon as realization dawned on her she groaned loudly into her hands and fell backwards on her bed. A rustle came from the other side of the room where her roommate lied. Shifting under the covers, they turned to face her.

"Could you be any louder," Jinsoul whined into her pillow. Jungeun rolled back and forth in her bed in frustration.

"Jinsoul I'm so stupid," she breathed into her hands.

"That's my line," she said before sitting up in her bed, forgetting any chance of sleeping, at least not with Jungeun having a crisis right next to her. "What's wrong?"

After a few seconds of recovery, Jungeun sighed and sat up. "I don't even know where to start, it's all a mess." Jungeun bit her bottom lip in deep thought. "I like Haseul."

A silent moment passed between them, Jungeun growing anxious by the second until Jinsoul spoke up. "I know," she said. Jungeun looked up in surprise.

"What? You know?"

Jinsoul rubbed at her tired eyes, "It's really obvious, Jungeun. Especially to me since I've known you for so long. You don't smile that much around just _anybody,_ " she sighed.

 _And here I thought I was being discrete_ , Jungeun shoved her face into her hands again, embarrassment creeping up on her. If Jinsoul, of all people, noticed then who's to say Haseul hadn't already?

Noting Jungeun's growing despair, Jinsoul cleared her throat. "I haven't told anyone, I promise. Now why don't you tell me why you're having a meltdown this late," she moved from her bed to Jungeun's.

Resting her head against Jinsoul's shoulder, Jungeun sighed. "You know that show Haseul runs on the radio? And that thing she does with the anonymous questions?" Jinsoul responded with a hum. "I may or may not have asked her what her ideal type is."

Jinsoul used every ounce of energy to restrain herself from laughing. "Are you serious? Jungeun just ask her out."

"I don't think she likes me like that, Jinsoul. If I did and she turned me down I don't think things would be the same for a while."

"So what's the point of asking her those things then? You're just torturing yourself," Jinsoul frowned. The room fell quiet for a minute.

Some part in Jungeun's heart still felt a slimmer of hope, some possibility that Haseul could feel the same way about her. That part however was overshadowed by a massive shroud of doubt. Haseul was popular, bright and sociable. She strived to help people, sticking her neck out for friends without hesitation and always doing her best to bring everyone together. She was Jungeun's opposite. Whenever she mentioned that, Haseul was quick to say "that's why we compliment each other so well!"

Despite how cheesy it sounded, it never failed to bring a smile to her face. If she was honest, Haseul was the sun to her moon. Jungeun groaned out loud for nth time that night, she knew she had it bad. She felt Jinsoul's hand on her back patting her gently.

"Maybe you could use this to your advantage," Jinsoul suggested. Jungeun looked at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you asked her for her ideal type. Maybe you could try and fit whatever her answer is."

Jungeun furrowed her brows, "I don't know. I don't want to have to change myself for her to like me. It doesn't seem honest."

"It's just a suggestion. If you don't want to do that then... maybe you can ask things like what her ideal date is. That way you won't have to change anything about yourself but still learn what kind of romantic things she likes."

Jungeun stared at Jinsoul for a moment, "You might be onto something here."

"This means you'd have to actually to take her out though, Jungeun," Jinsoul shoved her lightly.

She had a point. There was no use in asking Haseul something like that if she wasn't going to make them happen. "Okay, I will. Maybe this is my chance to get to know her on another level without revealing my feelings yet."

"And what happens when the time comes?"

Jungeun grimaced, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now I want to focus on... wooing her I guess." Jinsoul let out an obnoxious snort.

"You did _not_  just say 'wooing' right now."

After a pointed glare, Jinsoul let it go. She reached over to the radio and turned up the volume slightly, tuning in on Haseul's voice. Jungeun chewed on her bottom lip, "Part of me really hopes she doesn't read my question."

As soon as the words left her mouth, Haseul's soft laughter chimed over the speakers. "Dear Haseul, what's your ideal type in a partner?"

Jungeun wanted to shove her face into a pillow then throw it at Jinsoul's big stupid smile. "Hey, listen to what she's saying idiot," Jinsoul pinched her leg. Jungeun finally threw the pillow at her and huffed, crossing her arms as she waited for Haseul's response.

  
"Well," she giggled, "this is a first. I guess I'm a little old fashioned," she said, "I prefer the chivalrous type. Someone who'd hold the door open for you, or someone like my dad I guess?" Jungeun was too stuck on Haseul's voice to notice Jinsoul typing away on her laptop.

"Do you think that means she's straight?" Jungeun turned her head to see a very satisfied looking Jinsoul. "Why are you smiling?" she squinted at her.

Jinsoul simply shrugged, moving back to her bed and worming under her blanket. The next question that Haseul read made her chest tighten.

"Dear Haseul, what is your ideal first date? Ah, if you're trying to flirt then I'm onto you," she laughed.

 _Oh my God_ , Jungeun ran a hand over her face.

"My ideal first date would be… anything that simply involves my partner. It doesn't have to be something special as long as I'm with them, because in the end the time spent with them is all the matters."

"Jinsoul!" she hissed, glancing between her laptop and her roommate.

"She's such a romantic, you two would really get along. Oh stop looking at me like that, you'll thank me later."

Clenching her jaw, Jungeun caught the last few words of Haseul's sentence. She was signing off of the show and would likely be walking back to the dorms by now. As if reading her mind Jinsoul spoke up.

"Hey, you should go walk her back," she said. "She's always complaining that it's scary and with you there it's the perfect way to show off how _chivalrous_  you are."

Torn between throwing another pillow at her and grabbing her coat, she settled for the latter. "You're annoying," she grumbled as she put it on.

"Yeah, yeah," she waved. "Just turn the light off as you leave."

Jungeun did not turn the light off.

* * *

 

The walk with Haseul was nothing short of awkward for Jungeun. She felt like she was keeping a secret, a big one as Haseul talked about the anonymous questions she had gotten earlier. Questions that she started to ask Jungeun.

Her grip tightened on Haseul's book bag as she rambled about the anon. "It just got me thinking about romance and all that. I feel like I'm missing out, don't you?" she looked at Jungeun curiously.

A fraction of her heart began to ache. She wanted to look Haseul in the eyes and say she wouldn't be missing out if she gave her a shot. It always hurt to hear her speak like that, especially when her thoughts screamed  _pick me_  every single time.

She sighed deeply, settling for a simple "I guess" as her reply. She knew Haseul was eyeing her warily, but ignored it. She just wanted to walk Haseul back safely then go to bed. After a few minutes, they both parted ways with a smile. At one point their fingers brushed together as Jungeun passed Haseul's book bag back to her. Her heart began racing so fast she was sure she was going to pass out on the spot.

It was embarrassing really, how easy it was for Haseul to make her feel like a nervous mess.

The walk back to her dorm was uneventful but it did offer Jungeun a lot of time to think about her next move. Any way she looked at it, she'd have to ask her out. She weighed in on Haseul's response to Jinsoul's stupid date question and sighed. It didn't offer her any ideas on where to take her, but if she was serious about her response on the radio then it didn't have to be special.

 _Maybe something fun, something both of us can enjoy_.

Jungeun reached the steps leading up to the dorm building's entrance and sighed, still lost in thought. Suddenly, an idea hit her. She reached for her phone and pulled up her texts with Haseul, quickly typing out "are you still awake?"

The reply was instant and Jungeun couldn't fight the smile on her face as she stared at her screen. She hit the call button.

It rang once before a yawning Haseul answered.

 _Cute_.

"Miss me already?" she laughed softly. Jungeun knew a blush was forming on her cheeks and was silently grateful that Haseul wasn't around to see it.

"You wish. I forgot to ask if you were free tomorrow. I wanted to do something."

Haseul hummed, "Ah, no. I don't have anything planned. What did you have in mind?"

Jungeun bit her lip as a wide smile formed on her face. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, feeling her heart nearly beat out of her chest as she spoke. "How does rollerskating sound?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for more awkward romancing in the next update.


	3. Dread.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Haseul POV] Sooyoung and Jinsoul spread their gay agenda to Haseul.

Haseul steadied herself on a railing as she adjusted her skates. Although it hadn't been long since she went rollerskating with all the Jin's and Kahei, she was still nervous about being a wobbly mess in front of Jungeun. "You okay there?" Jungeun squeaked. Haseul lifted her head up, her eyes greeted by the sight of a struggling Jungeun on wheels.

"I think I should ask you that," she giggled. She closed the distance between them, taking one hesitant stride forward then another, quickly finding the rhythm to her movements. "Here, take my hand," she stretched an arm out to her. Jungeun glanced between her hand and her before intertwining their fingers together. "I'm gonna pull you with me. You'll get the hang of it, it's easy."

"I underestimated how rusty my rollerskating skills were," she let out a breathy laugh. Haseul smiled at the red flush covering Jungeun's cheeks.

 _Cute_.

"Follow my lead. I got you."

They spent the next few minutes awkwardly skating around the rink until Jungeun began to move more comfortably. "I think I got it now," she beamed, picking up the pace. Haseul followed after her with a broad smile, their hands still clasped together. She let out a whoop as Jungeun managed to move backwards effortlessly.

Pop music bounced off the walls of the rink, the only other sound filling the place besides their laughter and the chatter of the other people there. "You guys are too cute," a voice called out from behind them. They both whipped their heads around to find the source of the comment. Haseul felt Jungeun immediately tense around her hand.

" _Jinsoul_?" Jungeun groaned. "Why are you here?"

Jinsoul skated circles around them, practically gliding on her feet. "You're not the only one making moves today," she winked before shouting, "Sooyoungie!"

Haseul and Jungeun looked to the right, their gaze settling on Sooyoung in all her glory gliding towards them. She linked her hands with Jinsoul as she pulled up and glanced at Jungeun and Haseul's own clasped hands. She raised a single brow, "Oh, I didn't know this was a double date." Jinsoul snickered, resting her head on her shoulder and Haseul immediately felt her hands clam up. Jungeun was the first to let go.

"It isn't," she blurted. "We're just hanging out."

Sooyoung glanced at Jinsoul with a look in her eyes, obviously conveying something Haseul couldn't decipher. Jinsoul simply shot her a smile. "Of course, I understand," she smirked. Haseul looked at Jungeun, noticing that she was growing redder by the minute she decided to speak up.

"I didn't know you and Sooyoung were dating," she tilted her head. Sooyoung smiled, though it somehow always looked like a smirk to Haseul.

"It just kind of happened. Actually, it was kind of thanks to your radio show."

Haseul blinked at this, "What?"

"Nevermind, it's a lot to explain. Come skate with us! It'll be fun," Jinsoul interjected, grabbing Haseul and Jungeun by the hand and tugging them forward.

Red Velvet began to blare over the speakers and Jinsoul practically jumped in excitement. "Sooyoungie, come on! I love this song," she laced their fingers together and within a second the two took off, leaving Haseul and Jungeun awkwardly standing in place.

Haseul wanted to bury her face in her hands. Exactly what just happened and why did her cheeks burn this much?

She glanced at Jungeun who seemed to look just as flustered as her. Taking a deep breath, she spoke up, "Want to join them?" she nodded her head at their friends.

"Oh, yeah," she said with a small smile. It took a second for Haseul to notice that something about Jungeun's demeanor changed, she seemed a bit more reserved now. She felt herself frown, knowing it must have been Sooyoung's comment that put her off.

"Are you okay?" Haseul lowered her voice, placing her hand on her arm. Jungeun bit the inside of her cheek, staying silent for a moment.

"I am, I promise. I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable," she spoke at last.

 _Uncomfortable? That's new_.

Haseul crossed her arms. "Why on earth would I be uncomfortable?"

Jungeun was practically looking everywhere but at Haseul, "You know, the hand holding and all that. I understand if you don't like being mistaken as a couple."

Haseul felt her heart melt a little at Jungeun's words. She took Jungeun's hand into hers and squeezed. "I don't care about that Jungeun, I just want to enjoy today with you," she tried to reassure her with a smile.

She ignored the fluttering in her stomach as Jungeun squeezed her hand back and let out a deep breath. "Okay, I'm glad," she smiled, this time wide and genuine.

She felt something tug at her heart.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

The entire world seemed to flip within the span of a second.

Suddenly, Jungeun looked incredibly beautiful under the purple strobe lights bouncing around the rink. Suddenly, she couldn't hear the obnoxious music over the sound of her own heart beating in her ears.

This time Jungeun was the one to ask if she was okay.

Haseul nodded quickly, trying to snap out of her trance and shake off _whatever_ the hell she was feeling. She plastered on a wide smile and raced forward, "Let's go!" she cheered. Jungeun followed after her, laughing at Haseul nearly falling backwards.

* * *

 

Sooyoung and Jinsoul ended up accompanying them to lunch, endlessly teasing each other and clinging to one another as they ate in the booth. If Haseul was being honest, they looked a bit like her and Jungeun on any other day.

_Does that mean we look like a couple?_

She frowned as she recalled Jungeun and her holding hands while at the rink. That was normal for friends wasn't it?

She sighed as she sipped from her drink. She felt something press against her side, looking up she met Jungeun's questioning gaze. "You okay?" she mouthed. Haseul nodded quickly, straightening in her seat and trying to join back into the conversation.

Jinsoul was snorting loudly at some joke Sooyoung made and covering her mouth with her hand.

"All I'm saying is Heejin and Hyunjin wouldn't be arguing as much if they just finally admitted that they like each other," Sooyoung sighed as she sipped from her drink. Haseul balked at this.

"What?" she blurted. "They like each other?"

Sooyoung stared at her as if she was the slowest person in the world. "You seriously don't know?" she laughed. "They're closer to you than me and even I noticed. You'd have to be blind to not see it."

Jungeun chuckled in her seat next to her, "She has a point, Haseul."

After today Haseul felt like anything and everything she knew about feelings was tossed out the window.

She ran a hand over her face, "Wait, okay. Heejin's always complaining about Hyunjin being a horrible roommate, how could she possibly like her?"

"Well," Jinsoul drawled, "the only reason Heejin nitpicks at everything Hyunjin does is because she's frustrated with Hyunjin for not picking up on her feelings yet. Classic case of lack of communication."

Sooyoung nodded in agreement, "Heejin could care less about Hyunjin's ungodly eating habits, poor girl just wants to hold hands." Jinsoul snorted, swatting playfully at Sooyoung's shoulder.

"Don't even get me started on Hyejoo and Chaewon," everyone collectively groaned.

Haseul gasped, "They like each other too?"

Everyone groaned again.

* * *

  
After a bit, Sooyoung and Jinsoul left, leaving Jungeun and Haseul to themselves yet again.

"They're really cute together, huh?" Jungeun smiled fondly as she watched them walk away. Haseul bit her lower lip.

"Yeah."

Jungeun glanced at her warily, "Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit spaced out."

Haseul quickly brushed off her concern, "I'm just thinking about today. It was really fun, I'm glad we hung out."

"Oh," she smiled, "I'm glad. I really enjoyed today too."

Haseul didn't even have to look up to know what Jungeun's smile looked like, her mind already painting the perfect picture for her.

For some reason it was becoming harder and harder to look Jungeun in the eye, more so when they were pressed so close together as they walked side by side. She felt a _lot_  today and the severity of those feelings began to weigh on her. She needed to situate this as soon as possible, preferably by herself in bed, under the covers with a pillow smothering her face.

She sighed, turning to face Jungeun before speaking.

"Jungeun-"

"Haseul-"

They both paused, then bursted into giggles at their poor timing. "Sorry, you first," Jungeun smiled.

Haseul racked her brain for an appropriate excuse to leave, then settled on something simple. "I wish I could hang out for a little longer but I have to go right now. I forgot I promised Kahei I would help her with a project today," she said.

Haseul hated the way Jungeun's smile instantly dimmed. "Oh, I see. Do you want me to walk you back to the dorms?"

Haseul instantly shook her head, "No, no it's okay you don't have to, I'm meeting her at the library!"

Nervous laughter began to bubble out of her and she knew she must've seemed odd if the look Jungeun was giving her said anything. "Alright then, I'll see you later," Jungeun nodded. Haseul quickly nodded back and began to walk forward without another word. The farther she got from Jungeun, the easier it was to breathe. Despite the anxiety in her chest beginning to fade, it gave way to a heavier feeling.

Dread.

 


	4. Who Is It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Jungeun POV] Jungeun is a moping mess, Jinsoul is a supportive friend and Haseul confesses something on air.

To say Jungeun was confused would be putting it lightly. Everything had gone perfect, sort of, and they were both enjoying themselves the entire time they were together. Haseul smiled and laughed and had even said as much.

None of it explained why Haseul started to act so strange towards the end of their… date? _Get together? Meet up?_

_Ugh._

With a groan, Jungeun fell backwards into her bed and stared at the ceiling of her bedroom. The afternoon light filtered through the blinds of her window, illuminating the room in a peaceful orange hue. It was too quiet, her thoughts becoming too much to bear in the silence. She sat up grudgingly and turned on the stereo system, hoping some music would put her mind at ease.

And of course IU, Haseul's favorite artist, was playing. She immediately changed the station with a huff and layed back down, letting her eyes slip closed. Instead of a clear head, her mind just ran rampant with thoughts of Haseul. The image of her smile, the single dimple on her cheek, the way her eyes became so small when she couldn't stop laughing and the dumb thing she did where she puffed her cheeks and looked like a hamster.

_Oh this is really not helping._

Never in her life had Jungeun felt so ridiculous pining over someone. Normally, she'd deal with it immediately, never one to waste her time second guessing things and asked them out. It was an entirely different thing with Haseul though, she was different. Haseul made her _soft._

The sound of her phone ringing cut in, stirring her out of her thoughts. She fished it out of her pocket and sighed as she saw the contact name.

_Jinsoul._

"Hey," she answered lamely.

"Oh, wow. I was going to ask how you and Haseul were doing but you don't sound too happy so I'm guessing not well."

Jungeun ran a hand over her face, "You guessed correctly. How's your _date_  with Sooyoung?"

"Suddenly I have to go."

"Right," she rolled her eyes.

"Do I need to call Yerim to cheer you up?"

"Absolutely not."

Jinsoul sighed, "Listen, I'll be back soon. I'll bring some junk food, maybe a movie and we can talk about girls all you want. Just keep your chin up okay?"

She felt a smile tug at the corner of her lips, "Of course. Thanks, Jinsoul."

"Sooyoung says to cheer up too! Talk to you later."

As soon as they hung up, Jungeun felt herself sink even farther into her bed. She was already missing Haseul. With a sigh she slipped under the covers, curling into herself.

Maybe taking a nap would be for the best, anything to stow away the ache in her chest.

* * *

 

Jungeun stirred awake to the sound of crinkling plastic, keys and cursing. Definitely Jinsoul.

She rubbed her eyes and sat up, her gaze resting on Jinsoul slowly trying to pry open a bag of chips. "I can still hear you," Jungeun mused, her voice notably still groggy from sleep.

Jinsoul jolted slightly, then visibly relaxed when she noticed Jungeun. "It's the thought that counts," she sighed as she finally tugged it open and popped a chip in her mouth. Jungeun squinted, noticing that the room had gotten a bit darker. She glanced at her phone and noticed not only the time but also a few texts from Haseul. She decided against checking them for now, wanting to wake up a little more before jumping down that rabbit hole.

"When did you get here?" she asked as she sat up and stretched on the edge of her bed. Jinsoul rummaged through the fridge, pulling out a can of soda and popping it open.

"An hour or two ago? You were asleep for a bit and I didn't want to wake you," she took a sip from the can and let out and exaggerated exhale.

"Oh," Jungeun said, feeling short for words. Her eyes flickered back to her phone, her curiosity beginning to tug at her. Jinsoul must have followed her gaze because she asked how it had gone with Haseul.

Running a hand through her hair, Jungeun shrugged. "I thought it was going well, but then she started acting weird. I'm trying to not assume that I did something wrong," she reached for her laptop and lied back down in bed.

Jinsoul hummed, moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "Sooyoung and I noticed actually. She seems to think that Haseul was… flustered around you."

Jungeun's eyes stayed glued to her screen, aimlessly scrolling through her email, social media, anything that'd distract her from her phone. "What do you mean?" she yawned.

"I mean that Sooyoung's gaydar is never wrong and that it definitely started going off around Haseul," she flicked Jungeun's leg. She dodged her kick with a small giggle.

"There's absolutely no way I'm believing that," she snorted. It wasn't as if she didn't want to, it was just that Haseul having any interest in her seemed nothing less than a fantasy at this point. Something that would only happen in her dreams.

As if reading her thoughts, Jinsoul huffed, "Would it kill you to try and be optimistic? You have to keep trying for her, especially because I've never seen you this hung up over someone so she's obviously special for you."

Jungeun felt her teeth clench at Jinsoul's words. She wasn't wrong one bit and that sort of terrified her. She had fallen so deep without noticing and the push and pull of her feelings had seriously started to weigh on her shoulders. It was suffocating to keep inside and becoming harder to the longer she waited.

She was close to confessing earlier today, when they were walking side by side and Jungeun couldn't stop herself from glancing down at Haseul's perfect lips. It was so tempting and she was so close to finally admitting everything she had been feeling for the past few months but as fate would have it, Haseul told her she had to go at that same moment.

 _Maybe it was worth another shot_ , she tried to convince herself.

"Hey," Jinsoul's soft voice drew her attention. "Quit frowning like that, you're going to get wrinkles." Jungeun let out a soft laugh and decided to change the subject.

"Enough about me, did you actually rent any movies?"

"Oh, yeah! I got a couple of cheesy looking horror movies and Zootopia," she smiled.

Jungeun quirked a brow, "Zootopia?"

"It's a cute movie," Jinsoul mumbled.

Stifling a laugh, Jungeun let it go. "All right, pick one to play. We still need to talk about you and Sooyoung though and how grossly cute you guys are together."

"Read 4:45 PM."

"This is a verbal conversation, Jinsoul."

"And what about it?"

* * *

 

After a few movies the two ended up dozing off on the couch, Jungeun's head nestled in Jinsoul's lap. She was the first to stir awake, her eyes squinting as the bright television screen blinded her. She sat up slowly, careful not to disturb Jinsoul and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

 _Woah, what time is it?_ she glanced outside a window. It was a pitch black, the lampposts doing little to light up the campus. She searched for her phone and winced at the time. 12 AM.

Her thoughts immediately jumped to Haseul, her texts and the radio show. This was usually the time she'd start 'Ask Haseul'. Biting her lip, Jungeun finally opened the messages she'd been avoiding.

_-I'm sorry I had to leave so abruptly._

_-It was really fun watching you struggle on skates._

_-Do you mind walking me back to my dorm after I'm done with tonight's broadcast? It's okay if you can't._

Jungeun couldn't help the small smile on her face as she read through them. She walked to the stereo lowering the volume just quiet enough for her to hear and tuned into 18.6. Haseul's sweet voice filtered over the speakers and Jungeun felt her heart quicken.

She went through her usual routine of answering questions, sometimes rambling and straying off topic which made Jungeun laugh to herself. Haseul could talk about anything and Jungeun would always want to listen, her voice was too sweet to ignore. Jungeun found herself reaching for her laptop, fingers quickly typing the school's website into the search bar and pressing enter.

It was incredibly tempting to ask her a question, to try and figure out if this was a lost cause. But did Jungeun really want to know the answer to that?

_Do I?_

With a sigh, she rubbed her tired eyes and gave her question a little more thought. She settled for something very general (risky), quickly hitting send before she could second guess herself. It was nerve wracking as she waited for Haseul's response but eventually it came.

"Dear Haseul, have you ever fallen in love? What did it feel like for you? I think I've fallen for my best friend and I don't know what to do," she read. She took a deep breath. "Technically, that's two questions but I'll let it slide since you must be desperate to come to me."

Jungeun bit the inside of her cheek _You have no idea._

"This is a tricky situation and I'm not experienced with this kind of stuff at all so take what I say with a grain of salt," she cautioned. "But, I would suggest doing the simplest thing: confessing. I know it might be terrifying to think about and the last thing you want to do but it's the most important step in finding peace with your feelings. It can't be healthy to hide it, especially around someone who's your best friend. It's worth the risk, I think."

A lump formed in her throat at Haseul's words. If Haseul herself truly believed that was the best thing to do then... it shouldn't be too hard for her to understand Jungeun's feelings.

_Right?_

"As for the first two questions, well, I don't know. I don't think it's love that I'm feeling right now but," she paused for a second, a sigh leaving her lips, "I think it could get there. I'm going to get a bit sappy here and say it feels sweet, sudden, delicate and like diving into the deep end of a pool. I can relate to you a little anon, so don't think you're alone out there," she let out a small laugh.

In an instant, Jungeun felt a whirlwind of thoughts circle inside her mind. What was she talking about? _Who_  was she talking about? Was it someone they knew? Was it _her_?

Hopelessness settled into the pit of her stomach. Of course this had to happen, of course Haseul had to like someone else. She glanced at the time on her phone and sagged into bed. There was no way she could face Haseul now, not with the way her heart was beginning to ache. She shut off the stereo and stared at the ceiling which was now starting to look unbearably plain.

She had no idea how she would be able to face her even after tonight.

Maybe she needed time away from Haseul, time to think and time to get herself together. As much as it pained her to think about pushing her away, it seemed like the best idea. It'd give her a chance to get over Haseul and hopefully mend her stupid stubborn heart.

She never thought love could suck this much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter features veteran gay kahei consoling a confused haseul.


	5. It Was You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Haseul POV] Basically, Haseul and Jungeun are both panicked gays.

It had been a week since she last spoke to Jungeun. A long, lonely, and frustrating week. In the darkness of Haseul's room, the sound of rain drops began to echo throughout. A sigh left her lips as she closed her eyes and tried to focus on the sound since it was the only thing calming her rampant thoughts.

Jungeun hadn't replied to any of her recent texts, the only time she did was to explain that she was busy. It didn't make sense to her. She hadn't seen her walking to class, hadn't seen her stopping by the campus coffee shop and she was _always_  there by noon like clockwork.

_I must have done something wrong._

The sound of the bedroom door opening pulled her away from her thoughts. It was Kahei who was struggling with unbuttoning her coat, "I wish I took an umbrella, it's pouring outside," she huffed.

Haseul hummed from her bed, "I noticed."

Kahei looked up, pulling her hood back and squinted. "Why is it so dark in here?" she flicked the light switch on. Haseul hissed, her poor eyes immediately blinded by the light before she could pull a pillow over her face.

Kahei giggled, "Still no word from Jungeun?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes."

Haseul huffed, sitting up and tossing her pillow to the side. "I feel lost," she admitted. "I miss her, Kahei," she met her eyes, hoping she could read the sincerity in them. Kahei frowned, setting her book bag down and sitting down next to her.

"You need to confront her, Haseul. It's obvious she's avoiding you and as her friend you deserve to know why," she grabbed Haseul's hand and squeezed it lightly, hoping to offer some comfort to her mess of a friend. Haseul looked down at their hands, sighing and squeezing back. Something else weighed on her mind, something that had been eating at her all week apart from Jungeun avoiding her.

She looked up at Kahei and decided it'd be best to ask her for advice. She trusted her like a sister and knew that if anyone could help her through the emotional turmoil she was going through it'd be Kahei.

"There's something else that's been weighing on me," she stared at the floor, "I think... I like Jungeun."

A weight immediately lifted from her shoulders as she confessed, already beginning to feel lighter now that someone else knew. Her cheeks burned at the confession, feeling a little embarrassed after saying it out loud but she knew Kahei wouldn't judge her.

She slowly lifted her gaze, noting Kahei's sympathetic expression. "No wonder you've been hurting so much this week," she sighed. She wrapped an arm around her, Haseul's head resting on her shoulder. "Are you going to tell her?"

Haseul bit the inside of her cheek, "Of course. It feels like I'm keeping a secret or lying by not telling her. Although, I'm not so sure now that she's been avoiding me." Kahei's fingers combed through her hair gently, trying to ease the tension from her.

"Like I said, you need to confront her. I'm sure Jinsoul or Yerim would help if you explained it to them. This is important for you two," she said.

"You're right," Haseul omitted, lifting her head and running a hand through her hair. "I didn't want to bother Jinsoul with our issues but she's probably the only one who knows what's going on with Jungeun."

She reached for her phone, quickly pulling up her texts with Jinsoul and typed out a message.

_-Hey, Jinsoul. Do you know where Jungeun is right now? She's avoiding me and I need to talk to her._

She felt Kahei's hand on her shoulder squeezing lightly as a sign of support. Haseul gave her a small smile, "Thanks for dealing with my mopiness this week."

Kahei stood up, stretching before giving her a sweet smile. "Anything for you, I just hope it works out with Jungeun," she said as she disappeared into the kitchen.

A chime from Haseul's phone immediately drew back her attention.

_-it's about time u messaged me. jungeun's at the library with me. come over._

Haseul quickly jumped out of bed, nabbing a coat from her closet and searching for an umbrella. "Kahei!" she called, "Have you seen my umbrella?"

"It's by the door!" she answered.

* * *

 

_Kahei wasn't kidding when she said it was pouring._

Haseul shivered under her umbrella, quickening her pace as she neared the library entrance. Sweet warmth hit her instantly as she stepped inside, a sigh of relief slipping past her lips. She closed her umbrella and scanned across the room, searching for a familiar head of blonde hair. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket and pulled it out, opening a message from Jinsoul.

_-i had to go. she's moping around in the back like a loser. good luck xoxo_

_Well, I guess she knows about us,_ Haseul sighed.

She tucked her phone back in her pocket and made her way deeper into the library, passing endless rows of bookcases until she reached a secluded corner. And there was Jungeun, sprawled out on a bean bag reading a book. Haseul felt her chest tighten as she took in Jungeun's features.

_She looks tired._

Taking a step forward, she came into Jungeun's view. To say Jungeun looked surprised would have been an understatement. She immediately stood up, eyes locked on Haseul.

"Haseul…" she spoke, her voice a near whisper.

Before Haseul could say anything, Jungeun immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out. "Before you say anything, I need to say that I'm sorry."

Haseul furrowed her brows, already feeling confused. "Why have you been avoiding me, Jungeun?" she willed her voice not to waver, feeling ridiculously emotional at the fact that this was the first time she had seen Jungeun in days.

Jungeun was frozen in place, her eyes flitting between the floor and Haseul as she stayed silent. "It's complicated," she whispered. Haseul felt herself scoff at her answer.

"Please be straight with me, Jungeun."

A huff slipped past Jungeun's lip, "I don't know what to say, Haseul," she glanced at the person behind her who was looking through a row of books. "Can we talk about this somewhere else?" she pleaded.

With a sigh, Haseul nodded. A library wasn't the ideal place for them to discuss… whatever it was they needed to discuss. Jungeun searched around for something and cursed under her breath when she gave up a few seconds later. "What is it?" Haseul asked.

Frustrated, Jungeun ran a hand through her hair, "Jinsoul took my umbrella when she left."

_Oh no._

* * *

 

Sharing an umbrella with Jungeun in the pouring rain after trying to confront her for avoiding her all week definitely wasn't part of the plan, but it was fine. This was fine.

_This is fine._

Even in the chill of the autumn air, Haseul could feel her cheeks burn as Jungeun nestled closer into her side. She was close enough for Haseul to see the rosy tips of her ears and nose, flushed from being exposed to the cold. It took a _considerable_ amount of restraint for Haseul to not wrap her scarf around her.

She willed herself to just look forward and focus solely on their destination. They were headed to Haseul's place since Jinsoul and Sooyoung were... busy in Jungeun's dorm. Haseul prayed that Kahei would immediately understand the situation and give them the space they needed.

After a few torturous minutes they reached her dorm, both of them enveloped in the warmth of the living room as they entered. Quickly, Haseul excused herself to look for Kahei and found her in the bedroom. "Kahei," she whispered, holding a finger to her lips as a signal for her to be quiet. "Jungeun's here," she pointed behind her. Kahei's eyes widened slightly, nodding her head in understanding.

"I'll go to Heejin's place," she smiled. Haseul sagged in relief. She pulled her into a hug and whispered a quick "thank you".

Haseul walked back into the living room, her gaze falling on Jungeun who was fidgeting as she stood in place. Kahei walked out, saying a quick hello and goodbye to Jungeun and leaving the two to themselves.

"Okay," Haseul sighed. "Can you please explain to me what's been going on with you?"

With a deep breath, Jungeun decided to take a seat on the couch. "I didn't mean to avoid you for a week, I promise. I just," she paused with a sigh, "I haven't been in a great place emotionally."

Haseul immediately frowned, moving to sit next to Jungeun. "What do you mean?" she softened her voice, hoping to ease Jungeun into confiding in her.

Shifting slightly, Jungeun continued, "There's… someone. Someone I have feelings for and I've been trying to get over them because they like someone else."

_Oh._

Haseul felt her jaw clench subconsciously and averted her gaze from Jungeun. So _this_  was what made Jungeun so distant?

_She was heartbroken over someone?_

An ache began to form in her chest, an ache different from the other ones she had because this one hurt the _most_. They both fell into a silent spell after Jungeun's confession. Haseul knew she should be saying something, anything, but it was becoming ridiculously hard to form words with the way her heart was hurting.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and immediately snapped her gaze to Jungeun's worried expression. "Haseul, are you okay?"

_Come on, Haseul._

"Of course," she tried to shake off her heavy heart with a small smile. "I should be asking you that, I can't imagine what you've been going through this week," she said. "I guess it makes sense now," she grimaced, "I wouldn't want to be around people either if I had my heart broken like that."

Jungeun frowned, "Yeah," she said lamely and stared at the ground. Haseul couldn't ignore the way Jungeun's hands clenched into fists on her lap, or the way her eyes were glazed over with held back tears.

Haseul's eyes widen slightly, surprised by Jungeun's sudden vulnerability.

"Hey," she spoke softly, taking her chin by the hand and forcing her to meet her eyes, "you'll be okay, sweetheart. I promise this feeling won't last forever," she tried to convey as much sincerity as she could through her gaze, hoping it'd offer Jungeun some form of peace.

Their eyes stayed locked in place, long enough for Haseul to note the countless flecks of gold in Jungeun's eyes. Their breathing became audibly heavier as the moments passed. Haseul hadn't even registered their close proximity until her eyes glanced down to Jungeun's pink lips and realized how easy it'd be to lean down and kiss them.

_How soft would they be?_

Without thought, she brushed her thumb across Jungeun's cheekbone. Her eyes fluttered closed as she leaned into Haseul's touch, making Haseul's cheeks burn at the contact. Her heart was pounding in her ears, her breath becoming heavy the longer she let her touch linger. She needed to stop this before she did something she regretted.

"Who was it?" Haseul couldn't help but ask before pulling away. Jungeun stared at her, something swirling in the depths of her brown eyes that Haseul couldn't place.

After a moment of silence, Jungeun spoke up.

"It was you," she said, her voice low, breathless and raw. Haseul blinked, feeling her body immediately stiffen.

"What?"

"It's you that I like," her voice was barely above a whisper as she leaned in and brought her hand to her face, cupping her cheek and bringing her forward.

Despite the frantic beating of her heart, Haseul didn't pull back when Jungeun brought their lips together.

The kiss was slow, sweet, soft yet breathtaking. Of course, it would've been better if Haseul's brain didn't short circuit and reminded her to kiss back. Her lack of response was something Jungeun must have took as a bad sign because she pulled away quickly, eyes wide as she realized what she just did.

Haseul blinked repeatedly, trying to snap out of her daze as Jungeun panicked before her.

"What-"

"I'm so sorry Haseul, I need to go," Jungeun stammered, quickly standing up and stumbling over the coffee table as she ran out the door.

Haseul sat there, lost, staring at the emptiness of the living room and waiting for the dizziness to subside. Slowly, she brought her fingers to her lips, reminiscing the feeling of Jungeun's soft kiss and broke out into the largest smile when she finally processed what just happened.

Jungeun kissed her.

Jungeun liked her.

_Oh my God._

Her head whipped to the door and had almost forgotten that Jungeun left in a frenzy, likely thinking the entire thing was a mistake. She rushed out into the hallway, looking around in a hurry and spotted Jungeun already fleeing out of the building. Haseul let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through her hair.

A plan was already forming in her head to draw Jungeun towards her. There was no way she was letting her push her away this time.


	6. You and I.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Jungeun POV] Haseul sings, Jungeun listens, love blossoms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uIAb9bA2sTI (the song haseul sings)

It had been hours since Jungeun had bolted from Haseul's dorm, rushing out into the pouring rain and booking it to her place. Hours since she shed off her rain soaked clothes, slipped into the hot shower and tried to fight off the tears that spilled down her face.

Jinsoul tried her best to comfort her, rubbing circles on her back and threading her fingers through her hair. Even Sooyoung tried to cheer her up with some positive words but none of it worked. None of it could undo the fact that she had royally screwed up her entire friendship with Haseul in a matter of seconds.

Those blissful yet stupid few seconds where she kissed her and the world went mute.

It wasn't supposed to happen. She hadn't planned it. But she knew she wouldn't be able to hold back the moment Haseul touched her face, stroked a thumb across her cheek and called her _sweetheart_. They were so painfully close Jungeun could tell apart every shade of brown that made up Haseul's beautiful eyes. It was inevitable, the way Jungeun blurted out her confession. Who could be that close to someone as alluring as Haseul and not profess their love?

Just thinking about the kiss made Jungeun's cheeks flush and her heart ache. It was already the dead of night and she was still awake thinking of every possible way she could form a new identity and move away. She would never be able to face her again, not after the fool she made of herself earlier. Haseul was probably thinking of ways to let her down, push her away, reject her and it was all making Jungeun want to curl into a ball. 

She stared at her bedroom wall, feeling exhausted yet too anxious to sleep. She sighed and rolled over, eyes now facing the ceiling. She let her eyes slip closed in hopes sleep would come, that was until she heard her phone vibrate from under her pillow. She furrowed her brows and reached for it, her heart immediately dropping as she saw who it was from.

_Haseul?_

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she steeled herself to open the text.

_-I know you're awake. Turn to 18.6 on the radio and listen to my show._

Jungeun took a shaky breath. How did Haseul know she was awake?

Warily, she glanced at Jinsoul's sleeping form and saw a glimpse of light emanate from her phone screen. Instantly, she connected the dots.

"Jinsoul, are you awake?"

"No," came Jinsoul's quiet response from under the covers.

Jungeun threw an arm over her face and sighed in frustration. "Did you tell Haseul I was?" she asked.

"Just turn on the radio okay? I think she'd be disappointed if her anonymous admirer didn't pop up tonight."

Jungeun couldn't help the curiosity pulling at her and sat up grudgingly, reaching for the stereo. She bit her lip when she settled on 18.6 and glanced at the time. There were only 5 minutes left until Haseul would start her show segment. She sat cross legged on her bed, anxiously chewing on her bottom lip and listening to Haseul's voice.

"Normally, I don't do things like this but it's a special occasion," Haseul laughed softly, "If any of my weekly listeners recall, last week I answered a question about falling in love and if I had ever felt something like that. I said that I did… and today I found out the person I had these feelings for liked me back."

_Huh?_

_Wait._

After a few seconds it finally hit.

"Oh my God," Jungeun blurted out as soon as the words registered in her head. Her heart hammered in her chest, giddiness beginning to overflow her as she shoved a pillow over her face and fell backwards onto her bed.

_She likes me! She likes me! She likes me!  She! Likes! Me!_

Haseul's voice cut into her thoughts, finally getting her to stop rolling on the bed from side to side.

"I know that person is listening to me now so I'd like to dedicate a song to them. One that I'll sing," the sound of guitar strings filtered through the speakers.

"Wow, she's so sweet. I wish Sooyoung would sing to me like that," Jungeun blinked as she turned her head to Jinsoul. She hadn't even registered her presence since she turned on the radio. 

"Yeah, Haseul's something special," Jungeun grinned, her cheeks beginning to ache from how much she was smiling.

The lilt of Haseul's voice filled the silence of the bedroom as it flowed through the speakers. Jungeun had only ever heard her sing once and it was hypnotizing, as if Haseul's voice was a spell and she was under it.

It felt similar to now, with the way Jungeun was hanging onto every word, every lyric that rolled off Haseul's tongue. In her mind was a perfect picture of Haseul with a guitar in her lap, strumming it lightly and singing into the mic. Jungeun had never felt so warm and soft in her entire life.

"We are laying on the sun in love, you and I. We arrive from the moon in love, you and I," the lyrics made Jungeun's chest tighten as Haseul sang them. Her voice was perfect, low and sweet which made Jungeun desperately want to pull her into another kiss.

"Alright, this has been sweet and all but I need sleep. Tell me about your new relationship tomorrow," Jinsoul yawned. Jungeun rolled her eyes, smiling as she hugged her legs to her chest and set her chin on her knees. Haseul's soothing voice and gentle plucks on the guitar was making Jungeun warm all over. How long had Haseul been hiding these feelings for?

 _I wonder how oblivious I must have been. And here I was avoiding her and acting stupid,_ she ran a hand over her face.

Jungeun had to admit though, operation woo Haseul was of some success. Here she was being serenaded over live radio by the girl of her dreams so she was most _definitely satisfied._

Haseul finished with a hum, plucking a final string on the guitar before letting out a soft laugh. "I hope you enjoyed that," she said and though she didn't specify whether she meant the listeners or Jungeun, she knew Haseul was talking to her and that made the butterflies in her stomach grow tenfold.

She glanced at her phone to check the time and bit her lip, there was still 30 minutes left until the show would end but to Jungeun it was feeling like an eternity. Her eyes landed on her laptop, a smile instantly tugging at the corners of her mouth. She bit her bottom lip, trying to fight her smile as she sent one question after another to Haseul knowing she'd have to see them.

_Dear Haseul, did you know you're friends with the biggest idiot in the world?_

_Dear Haseul, can you sing for me again?_

_Dear Haseul, can we redo our first kiss?_

_Dear Haseul, is your ideal type someone named Jungeun?_

A giggle filtered over the speakers and Jungeun couldn't help the wide smile on her face. "Sorry, I'm having a hard time reading these questions. Some of you are  _really_  eager to ask me stuff," she laughed.

Jungeun continued her spam spree until Haseul wrapped up the show, ending it with the usual routine and signing off. By the time she did Jungeun was already slipping on her coat and shoes, rushing out the door and running to the station. She was running to Haseul.

The second she arrived Haseul was barely stepping outside, adjusting the scarf around her neck until her gaze landed on Jungeun and their eyes locked. Jungeun felt her breath grow heavy, white mist forming in the night with each exhale.

Seconds passed before Jungeun found the courage to speak up.

"I was serious about my question. Can we redo our kiss?"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Haseul quickly made her way down the steps and pulled Jungeun forward by her coat into a searing kiss. Jungeun sighed into her mouth as their lips pressed together in a perfect fit. This time Haseul was confident, her teeth nipping lightly at Jungeun's bottom lip and soothing it over with a sweep of her tongue. To say Jungeun was left breathless would be an understatement. Her hands carded through the soft strands of Haseul's hair as they pulled apart, resting their foreheads together as they caught their breath.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Jungeun let out a sigh.

"Don't tell me, show me," Haseul smiled and pressed a soft kiss against her lips. Jungeun cupped her face and pulled her in for a deeper kiss, she felt her cheeks grow hot as Haseul wrapped her arms around her neck.

Despite having more than she could ever ask for with Haseul in her arms, she still had a nagging question tugging at the back of her head.

"Wait, wait," Jungeun pulled away hesitantly, "Did Jinsoul tell you about... the anonymous messages that I sent?"

Haseul couldn't help the giggles that slipped past her lips, "She did. It was really cute and sweet to hear, especially when she told me you always stayed up just to listen to my show."

A blush spread across her cheeks at Haseul's words, "Ah, so much for staying as your anonymous admirer."

"I prefer it this way," Haseul brushed a thumb across her cheek. Jungeun grabbed her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to her palm, grinning at Haseul's shy smile.

"Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?" Jungeun asked, hesitantly reaching for Haseul's hand.

Haseul glanced at it and gave her a sweet smile. "Of course," she said and intertwined their fingers, resting her head on Jungeun's shoulder as they walked side by night into the night.

Jungeun glanced down at Haseul and smiled.

_She picked me._


	7. Here. (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump to Sooyoung's birthday, helpless gays and ot12 shenanigans.

As always, the loudness was the first thing Haseul and Jungeun registered when they walked into Sooyoung's house. Whenever the 12 of them got together it was hectic for lack of a better word. Haseul always ended up being the mom at parties along with Kahei who always complained about how no one cleaned up after themselves.

Jungeun slipped her arm around Haseul's waist as they stepped in and greeted everyone. It'd been months since they started dating yet Haseul still couldn't shake the nervous giddy feeling in her chest every time Jungeun touched her.

"It's about time you got here," Jinsoul pulled both of them into a hug with Sooyoung following right after.

"We would've gotten here sooner but Jungeun took forever to get ready," Haseul shot her a pointed look.

Jungeun rolled her eyes, "Okay? You're the one who took 10 minutes to decide on a cake."

A gagging noise emerged from the couch, "You guys already sound like a married couple," Hyunjin cringed. Heejin, who was sitting next to her, hit her softly with a pillow.

"That'll be you and Heejin in two months tops, so don't get bold," Haseul stuck her tongue out, making Jungeun stifle a laugh. She was so cute.

"No arguing on my birthday! Today we celebrate my youth," Sooyoung cut in with a dramatic sweep of her hair.

"Or what's left of it," Hyunjin mumbled, earning another swat from Heejin and a bark of laughter from Yerim who was digging in the fridge.

Jungeun shook her head, as ridiculous as they were she really loved these dorks. "I guess we're waiting on the others?" she asked.

"Kahei's on her way with Yeojin and I don't know where Chaewon, Hyejoo and Jiwoo are but they're definitely coming together," Yerim sighed as her search for food came up empty, "Which is a shame because they're the ones responsible for food."

Haseul glanced down to the cake, hugging it against her a little tighter. "Don't even think about touching the cake yet," she warned.

As soon as the words left her mouth the door opened, followed by loud laughter. "Jiwoo!" Yerim jumped up, quickly running over to take the grocery bags from her hands.

"We're here too," Hyejoo deadpanned as her and Chaewon made their way in.

Haseul frowned, "I wonder where Kahei and Yeojin are now."

"Oh, they're behind us," Hyejoo nodded her head at Kahei and Yeojin approaching them.

"Finally!" Jinsoul beamed, "Can we please get these girls fed?"

"Yes, please," Hyunjin groaned from the couch.

* * *

"Never have I ever broken a bone," Kahei said, still holding up all ten of her fingers.

None of the girls put down a finger, including Hyunjin who Heejin immediately called out. "Hyunjin, you broke your arm in middle school, be honest," she frowned.

"I can't win if you're going to keep exposing me like this," Hyunjin buried her face into her hands. Heejin giggled and pressed a kiss to her head.

"I swear sometimes it's like Heejin is Hyunjin's better half," Sooyoung snorted.

Jinsoul tilted her head, "And what am I to you?"

Sooyoung paused, "My… cuter half?" she smiled. Jinsoul beamed and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Point proven," she laughed as she threaded her fingers through Jinsoul's hair.

"Can you guys quit being gay and play the game," Yeojin huffed.

"Okay, okay, I'll go," Jungeun cut in. "Never have I ever been in a relationship," she giggled. Yeojin, Yerim, Hyejoo and Chaewon groaned as the rest of the girls put down a finger.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl!" Haseul chimed.

"Yah! This is unfair," Yeojin shouted as the rest of the girls began to argue, making Haseul giggle into Jungeun's shoulder. Jungeun could smell the faint scent of vanilla from Haseul's shampoo and grew warm. She always loved having Haseul this close to her.

"Never have I ever dyed my hair blonde," Jiwoo piped up.

Kahei, Jinsoul, Jungeun and Chaewon grudgingly put down a finger.

"Never have I ever been born in 1997," Hyejoo said. Sooyoung, Jinsoul and Haseul immediately balked.

"What kind of question is that?" Haseul laughed.

"One for old people," Yeojin stuck her tongue out and Jungeun had to hold Haseul back from tackling her.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. You might be old but you're still beautiful," Jungeun pressed a kiss to her cheek as Haseul scoffed.

"I'm not old!"

Kahei cleared her throat awkwardly, making Yeojin burst into a fit of giggles along with Yerim right next to her.

"Alright, alright," Jiwoo giggled, "Never have I ever asked someone out!"

Everyone put their fingers down except for Hyejoo and Chaewon which prompted an exasperated look from everyone. "How long has it been since you told me they liked each other?" Haseul whispered to Sooyoung.

"Too long," she sighed.

"We got Hyunjin and Heejin together, maybe we should push them next," Jinsoul chimed in quietly.

"Never have I ever been a victim of Jungeun's selfie sticker," Heejin said. Jungeun smirked as everyone put a finger down.

* * *

 

Haseul curled into Jungeun's side on the couch as they watched Chaewon fuss over the stain on Hyejoo's shirt.

"I told you to be careful while eating, do you know how hard it is to get this stuff out?" Chaewon sighed, dabbing lightly at her shirt with a napkin.

Hyejoo gently took Chaewon's hand and squeezed it. "Breathe, Chaewon. I'll live," she smiled. Chaewon averted her eyes to the floor, a noticable blush forming on her cheeks.

"Oh, it's like watching a movie," Haseul laughed. "I hope we didn't look like that."

Jungeun snorted, "According to Jinsoul and Sooyoung we were worse."

"Heekkie!" Hyunjin yelled from the patio, "I told you to let me handle the barbecue!"

Jungeun and Haseul both glanced at each other then at Hyunjin frantically rushing Heejin to the kitchen sink and running water over her hand.

"You're being dramatic! I didn't burn my whole hand!" Heejin whined.

"I feel like a parent in the midst of children," Jungeun grimaced.

Haseul laughed softly, "Usually that's my line but now that we're dating I get to split the responsibility with you."

Jungeun raised a single brow, looking down at her, "Does that make me your wife?"

"Oh, look at you. You went from being too scared to ask me out to proposing marriage like nothing. Now that's character development."

"Shut up," Jungeun laughed, mussing up Haseul's hair with her hand. "I wasn't serious about that but I am serious when I say I'm happy with you," she stroked a finger across Haseul's cheek.

Haseul looked up at Jungeun with a smile, "You're so sweet to me."

"You're sweeter," she pressed a kiss to her forehead and then to her lips. Jungeun glanced up and around them, her gaze resting on Chaewon's flustered expression and Hyejoo's awkward stance.

"We should really help them," she gestured at the two. Haseul hummed.

"We aren't exactly good at the whole getting together thing, Jungeun."

"Okay, point taken," Jungeun snorted, "but I'm glad we got here."

"I am too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading, leaving kudos and all the nice comments i appreciated all of it <3


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